i want to adopt a new pet kitten from a shelter or wherever!
also, I want to save up for some new tattoos, been long overdue to add some ink to this skin.
And, pay off loans and hopefully make monthly payments finally… and make some doctor appointments like for vision and dental, asap, so i can go get my drivers license hopefully. then also save up to buy a car/hybrid suv maybe!??
We shall see!
But that is what I hope for even if it may not sound like im dreaming big, I just dont feel like dreaming of having lots of money is dreaming big, if anything its dreaming small..right??
once I have that set out for me, Ill look into going to community college, just dont know what field I want to go into, Maybe become an engineer but for what exactly, I need to figure that out.
Give me problems, cause I’ll find a solution!!
I just want a piece of land so I can build a sustainable lifestyle finally. and like give people baskets of muffins and shit. haha. thats like my dream for my life, to give people baskets of goodies all the time.
Can I just be some form of santa claus? yeah that sounds good, ill be sexy santa claus, but like shiek status, you wont know im a chick, till ya know, whenever i want to reveal that shit. haha.
Finally got a new job, and just in perfect time. Without a doubt I don’t leave it to coincidence. I leave it to prayer, Jesus and god and the positivity we are inherently born with yet forget every now and then. When we remember that we are good, we do good, we live by goodness to our selves and towards others. When we forget, we get lost and lose our selves and lose how to treat others.
Anyways, I love the friends that I’ve had throughout life yet, I’ve learned through not being such any awesome friend, and also by friends at times not being awesome with me, and same goes with family! I’ve learned how important it is to interact with eachother, but not just the fact that we do interact but how, and to remember to cherish that we are alive, that we are spiritual beings only temporarily in this physical realm for the moment. The fact that we are these being currently, interacting with these other current beings, is profound. We were all meant for each other in some way. We have to see each others face for a reason. We have to share our energy with each other for a reason. And the reason is what we figure out together.
And at the same time we need to allow each other our separate time to recharge, re energize and live lives expressing our creativity.
And that rant came from me finally getting a new job. I met some new people. I’ve been dying to meet new female friends, just cause, don’t have any of my girls out here, gotta meet some new people! And my new Co workers are all female and pretty nice as well!! Which I am glad. I hope these new relationships can turn into stronger bonds.
Felt like sharing.
Okay exhausted, good night!
Ps. Can’t wait to get paid already. Heh.
i miss friends. sometimes i feel like i never truly let myself enjoy friendship. i never felt completely comfortable around people enough to let myself experience a friendship connection. I dont understand why its so hard for me. I feel like i’ve tried to make things better between friends i’ve hurt and it was never really enough, i wasnt enough for that to mend the relationship completely, it had to be team effort that wasnt happening. And also, I guess because i never had much of a grasp of who i was that kept me from obtaining that kind of connection with a friend, but i dont want to keep holding myself back. I know i expect a lot from people, but i also want them to expect a lot from me. I guess thats why i make it hard on myself, cause i wish i could be a perfect friend, i want that best friend always ready to hangout.
I wish i could roll around the ground with friends and be sarcastic and yet have times where we need to break reality to eachother, i want someone to be honest with me but i never want that to break the friendship, i want that to make it stronger. i want someone who isnt always asking me whats up, because i may run out of surface conversation, but i want someone who genuinely cares for my well being and knows to throw me back into a quiet retreat into nature to ground myself again… and we watch chick flicks and eat ice cream and do a bunch of girly shit while not being girly dbags. Hahaha. and yoga together. :) like legit workout partner, no break in our routine!
thats mainly what i want out of a frienship right now haha.
Idk ive been inside for too many days in a row lately… Just trying to organize my mind like always.
I feel more content, as I grow older, or I guess wiser, my dreams become more concrete. I dont want a lot of money, I just want what I need and possibly a little extra to dabble in activities and travel possibly, and get myself out of debt and help out with family whenever or all the time.
What I want to do, is directly business related and yet allows me the creativity and hands on action I seek. And I realize I will definitely be starting from the bottom, but without a doubt, I know that I have help.
Which I am forever grateful for.
I hope, that my dreams are successful and achievable.
Once I achieve this goal, I can’t even imagine what would be next? But thats far from now.
I just want to get this ball rolling!